LOST and STOLEN

I will not cry for you.

make me fall to my knees
                                                          reach for

                         
free fall
             down
                      into you
slowly
the abyss grew so dark and so cold over me
concealing me-
wayward girl

losing myself to you-
the lost and the missing.
MISSING

no picture of my soul on this milk carton.

i will not cry these tears of regret. they will not fall. they will not
                                                                                                  show themselves

they do not exist. you did not wake me from my life and take me to
another

so dark and so cold

alone

in this world of attachments

And, it was New Year's Eve.  I wanted to feel real, like everyone else.  Looking out my window- at the Christmas lights, linning the streets.  Hearing crowds of people laughing, they were near but not near enough.  My window was fogged with steam.  I had to wipe it clean. It left a mark, a shadow trail.  I couldn't see clearly out that window, I wanted to see what they were wearing, and from where they were coming and going.

Did the fireworks start? Did I miss them? Am I too late? 

I am so sad.
oh! here they go! i see them sparkle
                                             between the tall buildings.
Red, Gold, Opulent, Silver, Vibrant, Emerald, Joyous, Blue
Glitter Glue on navy velvet skies-
it doesn't stick.

my view is obstructed, anyhow.

too dim to see the light
             snuffed
somewhere along my path ...

Frightened.

the stolen and the missing

all a lonesome

Fuck you.

I will not cry for you.

You will starve dry- no longer gleam nutrients from my bitter tears.