fireworks

Don't act like that-

Or do I feel deeper than you?

I know you sense this, this surge and this connection, yet somehow I know-

our love tremors in a lower baseline within me

        than within

you. 

How do I know this? This truth?

A stark clear white. Eggshell.

I know from your lackadaisical ease: the strut in your walk and the glance in your stare

(gaze along the sand at the other beach babes) 

Don't be so lazy, lazy with your love.

Sunshine-ing your days away suckin' on orange Popsicles …

We could have been great: you and I

crowned Queen and King of the Funshine Fair holding our own

aquarium castle-

taking it home in a brown crinkly paper bag.

twilight and busy sidewalks

pink brush strokes on navy skyline

Where will it go; where shall we place it?

Our carpet feels warm on my feet,

humid

Oh, easy, next to the spider plant on our

Windowsill: cool breeze in my hair as I place it on the stained paint.

Makes everyone laugh at our next party.

Decorate it with tinsel for our first Christmas together.

It never was this way-

I was not nearly as brave as to take you on.

And you- you knew me too well.

Too well to see our future: the realization that I wasted all my youth on you.

And now I have nothing to show for it.

Nothing,

but some used teal tinsel and a

plastic castle.